10 Key Points About Developing Intimacy in a New Relationship

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Intimacy is one of the beautiful aspects that make any relationship precious and delightful. In this article we will shed some lights about the key points about developing intimacy in a new relationship.

#1 Time: Developing intimacy is far from being a race to get there. Intimacy runs its own time table and has as much to do with the individuals involved as well as their history. Give your new partner the time they need.

#2 Trust: In developing intimacy we need to learn to trust the other person. Trust comes from having a repeatable positive experience with someone that speaks with integrity and acts reliably. Ask your partner what they need in order to be able to trust.

#3 Presence: Intimacy is not an activity, it is a state of being. For intimacy to build you need focused attention which only occurs when space and time is right. Allow time, make space.

#4 Eye to eye: Sit quietly with each other, gazing into each other’s eyes without any other outcome than to share yourself with your partner. Eyes are the window of the soul – let your partner see inside.

#5 Closeness and distance: Intimacy is a delicate flower that sometimes needs more light and sometimes more darkness. Get in tune with your partner’s need for more closeness or more space at times. Remember it can change any time – do not assume, be mindful.

#6 Listening: To be a truly great listener is the greatest gift you can give another human being. Being heard and feeling understood will create intimacy so make it your aim to listen to the unspoken words within the sentences uttered.

#7 Honesty: Speak with integrity and honesty. This will also nurture the trust between you. Share yourself honestly, you not only develop intimacy with your partner but also allow yourself to truly see yourself: In-to-me-I-see = intimacy.

#8 Sharing: Intimacy is also about mutual disclosure. Once you share your fears, your flaws, your inadequacy and your vulnerability you allow the other to be human as well. Remember to share with diplomacy; overwhelming your new partner with your innermost secrets might not be suitable for a first date.

#9 Vulnerability: intimacy is so comforting because it allows true vulnerability, the part of us that we mostly hide as it is socially less acceptable. Couples describe ‘just to be myself’ as one of the beauties of relationship, which is being allowed to be vulnerable.

#10 Acceptance: On the same note as vulnerability is that intimacy is accepting and feeling accepted by our partner. If you want to focus on developing true intimacy in a new relationship reserve criticism and your desire to change your partner for later in the relationship.

Intimacy is about allowing people to get close to you in more than just one way!

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