In life, friendships and relationships – we all somehow and in someway manipulate other people, in fact it is impossible to not manipulate another when having a social interaction. Most manipulations can be of benefit to the other person and could otherwise be known as an influence in conversation. Giving a compliment or helping somebody find the answer to a question are some examples of manipulation or influence.
When a social interaction is pleasant to the other person involved, both sides are in harmony and the conversation is enjoyable, but when one or more people in the interaction want to control a person, the conversation or interaction may become threatening to the target. This is known as the dominating manipulation effect and will have the aim of creating a feeling of vulnerability in the “target” of the attack. The main reason for this is the dominating manipulator will feel vulnerable themselves and is trying to feel more secure by controlling others.
It is a well-known fact that a great many people do not like confrontation and can take many actions to avoid it if they can; this avoidance of confrontation is the one main power the bully or dominating manipulator will use to gain power over their target and then gradually build the pressure in very subtle ways. This is how the majority of dominating manipulators will gain power as a general rule.
If we are to see how confident the DM (dominating manipulator) feels about their attack it is important that we observe how they react and respond during its execution. Once the attack has been made, if they gives the impression of a “sigh of relief” if the target “backs down” it is safe to say that the they now feel more secure and safe by their method of control. If this is a learned behaviour they have there probably is a high chance they use it on many people, in many cases without even realising it, after all a bully usually feels very vulnerable themselves.
So coming back to the title of this article, when will a DM become their most dangerous? The answer is hidden in the last paragraph where they feel safest when they are in control, if they feel like they are losing control they will start to feel vulnerable and the quickest way they will feel like they are losing control is when they no longer have power over their target because their target loses their fear of the attack and stops acting so fearful.
When a DM feels as though they are losing their power their red alert alarm will be sounded as this to their mind could leave them open to attack or rejection (or that’s what they fear) and it is at this point that they could become their most dangerous. If their aim is to regain control, many attackers will simply have the attitude to raise the stakes or try more powerful methods until the target backs down. When in a situation where a DM becomes more aggressive or more manipulative it is a signal that they are losing their power, although if the dominating manipulator is acting in a dangerous manner, nothing may seem further from the truth. The games they may use when trying to regain power could be vast and very confusing to the target, but it is essential that the target is continually aware that the increase in intensity is an attempt to intimidate the target into backing down.
Abuse can come in many forms and should not be taken lightly in any situation and there are many things to take into consideration, this is simply one area, but a very powerful one and must be practiced regularly.